Written by: Sylvia Kathirkamanathan
As a woman of colour, I continue to learn more about myself and grow every single day. That being said, I would like to say that my experiences have opened my eyes to things I wish I was told or learned when I was younger, so here are some things I wish younger me knew about the me today.
I would tell younger me to not be afraid of being too whitewashed to be friends with other women of colour. As a child, I found that I would fear rejection or humiliation from other women of colour for not being as in tune with my culture as others, thus I tended to avoid the women that were. Little did I know that as soon as I opened that door for myself after starting to develop self-acceptance and reject this hatred ingrained in my mind, that I would meet some of my best friends and make the most amazing memories.
Something else younger me would have appreciated knowing is that fairer does not equate to prettier. I was constantly trying to find the next best product to make myself fairer, when I could have put that energy into loving the colour I am and other things about myself. I wish she knew that older her has shifted that focus onto other bigger and better things for herself.
Looking back, another thing younger me would love to know is that I finally know what I think is a significant amount of conversational Tamil. I wish younger me could know that starting to explore your culture is not something to be shy or afraid of, at any point in time. It just takes the right people to motivate you and a certain level of self-confidence. And in case younger me was wondering, yes, our mother will eventually let you get your nose pierced, just you wait.
A final piece of advice I wish younger me knew is how much better things get with time and as you change the environment with which you choose to surround yourself. You will meet new people, try new things and grow out of that bubble of self-hate of who you are and trust me, it all gets better.
QWOCC 