Written by: Dalyah Schiarizza
Sometimes reality is the absolute worst, but it’s our reality. In this society, I know I am not the beauty standard. I don’t have all those most desirable Eurocentric features, and I have no control over that. As much as I don’t push those standards onto myself or anyone else, that doesn’t make them go away in other contexts and situations in life. I start this article with the negatives because it’s true, and I want to be as honest with you as possible in this new writer/reader relationship we find ourselves in. Now, because I am honest with you, I’m also going to tell you this: YOU ARE SO GORGEOUS! I know it can sometimes be hard to believe because of our society and the societal restrictions placed on our bodies, but you are so beautiful. I struggled for a long time with accepting my appearance because those Eurocentric beauty standards found their way deep into my mind and heart. So I eventually decided that I was tired of their presence in my life, so I went after them and killed them. They are dead and gone in my mind and life, and now I want to share with you how I did it.
Since we’re building this relationship on the grounds of honesty, I’ll be so for real with you right now and say this was not an overnight thing. I didn’t wake up the next day fully believing I was the hottest, most beautiful person ever to grace this earth. However, I did start telling myself that and acting like it every single day. I’m not sure what the relationship between honesty and delusion is like, but I will be honest with you: if you tell yourself anything, you can make it your reality. Now, by no means does that mean finding myself beautiful or you finding yourself attractive isn’t genuine or truthful. It’s just that these beauty standards are so deeply ingrained into us, especially for women and girls, that we think that’s the truth, but it isn’t. By focusing on ourselves and telling ourselves that we are hot, gorgeous, and beautiful every day, we’re rejecting a perspective that was put on us and choosing the truth that there are so many ways to be beautiful and our ways and our beauty count. So, what exactly did this look like? When I would get ready in the morning, I would look at myself in the mirror and pay attention to the parts of myself that I liked. For example, I really like how dark my eyes are because they go well with my dark hair. It was sometimes uncomfortable to look at myself. Still, it was a way for me to appreciate myself because I had to reconcile the relationship between the external and the internal. I can’t tell myself I am gorgeous, stunning, beautiful, and amazing without physically seeing it. For some people, that is a hard thing to do, a hard point to get comfortable with, so I recommend just saying affirmations to yourself. Say these affirmations out loud, and tell yourself how beautiful, hot, amazing, intelligent, and kind you are. Whether it be in the mirror, for those who are comfortable, while you’re walking or driving, speak it out loud, and remind yourself of all the best parts of yourself because you deserve to hear that. You deserve to feel beautiful in whatever you wear and do. You deserve to be the hottest person in every room you grace with your presence.
Just between us, I am a little extreme at times. If you’ve noticed, I have used quite a few adjectives when talking about myself and my beauty. Even this article is titled “The Hottest Alive,” and I hope you’re asking, “Why?”. It’s because I want to make myself my own beauty standard, making me the hottest person alive. Going to this “extreme” helps me build an abundance of self-love and confidence. I’ve also noticed that when I go through hardships and rough times, I have a stronger sense of “I’m going to be okay.” I have worked to establish this base-level understanding that I’m that girl, and I am the moment. Simply because I am that girl, and so are you! I know how smart I am, how hard I work, and how amazing I look, so what is the point in denying it? Similarly, you’re beautiful, kind, hardworking, and clearly have great taste in articles. There’s no reason to deny what a gift you are to this world because it is the truth, and you deserve to both know and believe that.
I hope you also see yourself as the hottest alive because you are! We all are! Beauty is everywhere and inside all of us, and we all deserve to feel beautiful, hot, gorgeous, and unforgettable. I absolutely beg you to make yourself your own beauty standard. I promise it will make you feel even half as strong and amazing as you actually are. I am also once again begging, screw those stupid Eurocentric beauty standards. Screw those voices and people and standards that told you there was something wrong with how you looked because they weren’t White features. Screw those experiences that made you feel like you weren’t as beautiful as White girls and women. Screw all those moments that made you feel like you weren’t the most beautiful person on this earth because you are! When we see ourselves as beautiful, we give the finger to those beauty standards that made many of us feel horrible throughout our lives. When we see ourselves as beautiful, we can spread that to our families, friends, and potentially those who come after us.
The core element of this process of making myself my own beauty standard is gratitude. I am grateful every single day that I am the person I am while also en route to becoming exactly who I am meant to be. I’m grateful I have this face, complexion, and body because it is entirely mine and beautiful. I’m grateful that I found the strength to work on myself, which brought me to the point of writing this article for you. I implore you to practice gratitude because you deserve all the praise and thanks in the world, from inside sources and outside ones, too. I hope you can find appreciation for the growth you’ve experienced and begin or continue to love yourself and your appearance, despite what was forced onto us as we grew up, and currently, there is no one way to be beautiful. By making yourself the beauty standard, you start taking back some of the time your younger self felt less than you and finally telling them how beautiful they are and making sure both current and younger you know that. Since this new relationship between us is built on honesty, let me tell you one more thing: you are the hottest alive, and you better know it!
QWOCC 